Guest Columnist Leroy: Big Brother is Watching

Do I like being a big brother? Hell yes! One word, people: muscle. For eight years now, I've been getting by on looks, personality and brains alone. If I wanted a treat and the people were looking, I had to ask for it. Worse, sometimes they made me sit before I got it. So degrading. Well, the joke's on them. I'm training Stella Potato and training her good. By the time this month's up I'll have her eating out of the pad of my paw. I want a treat? Fetch, doggie. Maybe a little dogfood on the side? Back it up, sister, wait your turn.Who got into the pot roast? Don't look at me, I'm not big enough to eat that much meat.

Yeah, it's a sweet deal.

'Human' dreams are a myth.

Well it's Monday and I had a great weekend. As I was sniffing some other dogs delightfully fragrant urine this morning I paused to consider a dream I had about my landlords last night.

Traditional dream analysis says dogs helped man to hunt and herd his flock. We are therefore a symbol of the right inner relationship between them and their animal nature. We may also symbolize loyalty and guidance. Alternatively if the dog is ferocious then you have a inner conflict with the animal side of your nature. A dog straining on it’s leash may indicate that a human's emotions are at the ‘end of the tether'. This is of course hogwash. I'm at the end of my tether all the time...literally. It doesn't have anything to do with my walkees so called 'human' emotions. It means I smell poo.

Bored.

Man I'm bored....Is it 6 O'clock yet?

Hello my name is...

Hi. My name is Stella..Stella Potato.